Milton Glaser’s Ten Things I Have Learned has stayed with me for longer than I anticipated it would, back when I first read it. But there’s one rule I would add: a rule for the dreamers, the big thinkers, and the goal setters.
If you aren’t going for it… maybe you don’t actually want to.
Some words aren’t just labels, but scourges. Has so much potential. Jack of all trades, master of none. Or worst of all: Smart. Hear any of them enough times and they can consume you.
The problem with being smart, or full of potential, or even just competent, is that you can do anything. Let that sink in: anything. Everyone has their own uniquely flawed method of dealing with this overwhelming truth; for me (and admitting this is difficult), I adopt the dreams of others.
I earned a Bachelors in Engineering from a top university, despite my enduring love for language and the arts, because my parents wanted it. After one published research paper, I left engineering… something just wasn’t right.
I DJ’d for a local radio station, while acting as Promotions Director, because my college crush wanted it. I developed a following. I developed my personal taste. I was invited by Clear Channel Communications, the evil media conglomerate itself, to become one of them. I didn’t. Instead, I left radio.
I started a print publication celebrating the work of local writers, artists, and musicians - because my co-publisher wanted it. I wrote and edited and coordinated and planned. I helped secure a $10,000 grant. And then I quit, citing creative differences.
I started an online retail business, despite my distaste for adding more meaningless stuff to peoples’ lives, because my business partners wanted it. We became wildly successful, and secured millions in investment dollars. Of all the dreams I’d adopted, this was the most fun, the most rewarding, the most challenging and simultaneously satisfying. When the business partnership ended, I thought about starting the same business again, but on my own. So I took serious steps to make it happen…
And then I stopped.
I stopped everything. For a long time, I did nothing but kick myself: I was lazy; I was a quitter; I wasn’t good enough; I was a failure. Why so hard on myself? Because I was supposed to be smart, and to me smart meant always doing and always knowing what to do.
I wish someone had told me: If you aren’t doing it, maybe you don’t want to - and admitting what you don’t want to do might be better than going in the wrong direction. It’s ok to try everything until something sticks, but it’s also ok to leave old dreams behind. In fact, that’s how most people who find their true calling get there.
If you aimlessly go and go and go, you’ll end up worn out and just as lost as you started. After all my experiences, I had to consult my grade school education to learn what matters: be yourself, and realize that actions speak louder than words. In this case, I’ve learned to look at my own actions. Maybe it will help me discover where to go next.
(photo taken by me, copyright 2010)
